Family of the Month January 2011 Steve and Phil B, Bev G

From Phil BFamily of the Month

I walked into the Last Door on Feb 22nd 2010 feeling frightened, worthless and embarrassed with little or no hope. I tried to get clean at the Last Door in 2007 and lasted for 2 weeks but wasn’t ready to surrender my will. All the wrong reasons couldn’t keep me here.

This time around I wasn’t willing to blow my opportunity again. In this time period I had to prove to myself that my way doesn’t work before surrendering to the way I was being taught at the Last Door. In the beginning my self esteem was so low I couldn’t look anyone in the eye but fairly quickly that began to change. With every conversation and task at hand my confidence started to rise. I was taught how to treat people with respect and participate in their lives. I got clean for myself but believe I am still clean because I have learned to make it about other people. By living this selfless way of life I have been able to accomplish many of my hopes, dreams and goals. To this day I am not able to explain why, but trust that it works.

Through my stay at the Last Door there were so many alumni and staff to look up to. They spoke of and valued integrity. This is how I was taught to be impeccable with my word and always finish what I start. My most fond memory is hiking the Chief in Squamish with my Mother and Brother along with about 100 people participating in an NA convention. This marked the beginning of welcoming my brother to my home, the Last Door. Seeing my Brother accomplish this, the smile on my Mothers face and knowing how proud my Father is, is the proof that shows how much the program has affected my family.

I believe that recovery is contagious so my hope is to inspire other people to make positive change in their lives. I have returned to school and continue my education with a goal to qualify as an addictions counsellor with the support I found at the Last Door. Today I am able to practice all that I am taught as a client care worker for the Last Door. I am 10 months clean and forever grateful for everything the house has provided me and my family. I truly have found a new way to live through completing the 12 steps at the Last Door. I have faith that with support and guidance absolutely anything can be achieved if you just put your mind to it.

From Steve B

“My name is Steve and I am an addict” those were my first words when I entered the program of Narcotics Anonymous and they were the most important words I said in my life.

I didn’t become a member of NA at the first meeting I went to, nor the second.  When I started to believe that this actually works, I was ready to join.  I saw people “taking clean time”, people sharing about how good their lives are today and what the program has given them. It was at the fourth meeting that I attended that I took that initial step to better my life. It was August, on a Saturday after we had come back from hiking the Chief in Squamish, during the Sea to Sky NA Convention — there were about 50+ addicts that had conquered the Chief, including my mother and brother. When we got to the top we read from the Just For Today and I experienced my first spiritual awakening.

The night before I was up all night getting loaded and in contrast took part in this event surrounded by people in recovery who were having the time of their lives living clean.  I surrendered to living clean and made the decision to take my white fob that night at the SNL meeting of NA.  Saturday Night Live is now my home group. 18 days later I relapsed and required the support of the Last Door Recovery Society. Ever since I made the choice to pick up the phone and ask for help my life has improved. I never thought that I could have fun without drugs and alcohol but I was wrong.  I am having more fun than I ever had in my life. I have gone on fishing trips, softball tournaments, golfing events, amends trips to Kelowna, swimming adventures, movie premieres, field trips with guys in the house and a long list of fun events. But the most important gift that I have from staying clean and doing the work is my family and friends.

My mom is a huge supporter of the house and people who reside here. She introduces herself to the “new guys” and takes them out for coffee to get to know a bit about them. She has cooked a gratitude dinner for the entire house and drops off baking. She gives hope to the guys in the house that one day they could have a relationship with their parents. I am extremely grateful she is in my life today. There is one thing for certain that I would not have accomplished where I am today if my brother didn’t seek the help that he needed from The Last Door first. So as of January 3rd I am 6 months clean and loving life. I got to spend Christmas weekend at my mom’s house with my family opening gifts and enjoying dinner together for the first time we were all together in 8 years. This was all possible due to the effort I put into the 12 steps of Narcotics Anonymous, going to meetings, doing service, helping the new guy and reading from the literature. With this said I am grateful for NA, the Last Door and the family and friends who have had faith in me during my recovery.

From Bev G

My name is Bev and I feel truly blessed to currently have two sons living their lives in recovery at The Last Door.

My eldest son Philip found his way to the Door in February 2010 after living in addiction for half his life. He had been through detox several times and tried treatment on a few occasions, but his decision to enter treatment at the Door this time around has worked for him.  Since he entered treatment at the Door, his life has changed, as has mine. Philip’s addiction was tearing me apart. I was in denial about his addiction, seldom talked about it, thought it would go away, felt sick inside and was afraid.

My son Steven (the youngest of my four children) saw the kind of change Philip was making and made his way to the Door in July 2010. Steven’s addiction was more isolated and I did not know how severe it was. I was extremely happy he made the decision to get treatment. Philip was a role model to his brother and contributed to Steven’s decision to get help.

It seemed a bit strange to have two boys at the Door at the same time, but thank goodness I only have two boys. I had no idea what my life would be like once I started participating in the Parent’s Meetings at the Door and hanging out with my boys. I feel inspired when I see and feel the positive energy and attitude of my boys and other clients at the Door. I take an interest in supporting not only my boys but the other clients as well. I love being welcomed by numerous hugs when I visit the Door. I laugh more now and the tears I cry now are tears of happiness.

Philip finished his 12 Steps and is currently working at the Door and going to school and coming up to 11 months clean time. Steven is on Step 11, on the Door soccer team and loving life with 6 months clean. There have been several “firsts” for us over the past 10 months, one in particular was me climbing The Chief with my boys.  I would never have accomplished that without the help of my boys.  I very often say “I wouldn’t be doing this if my boys weren’t in recovery”. I am happy to say that I have built a network of new friends and family.

I am extremely proud of where Philip and Steven are today. I enjoy spending time with them and can see the fine young men they are both becoming. I have an improved relationship with them. I no longer focus on the negative, feel more at peace and sleep better. The program offered at the Door has given me hope that my boys will continue on the road they have chosen. I am truly grateful to all staff who have helped my boys. I strongly recommend this program to the suffering addict, it does work.