My names Dylan R and I am an addict.
I had started using substances at a young age and thought it was all a party. I eventually was someone who was involved in crime and knew how to survive. One thing however that I couldn’t seem to survive was my feelings. I had become very good at pretending everything was okay by never talking about the desolation I felt. Instead I focused on avoiding myself with substances. I used every day no matter what kind of day it was or how I felt. I was lonely surrounded by people who were friends or people I loved. My lack of self-worth constantly pushed me to put myself at risk. After a few times in prison and other institutions I found myself on the run from bail with very little options. One of these few options was The Last Door Recovery society.
I was introduce firstly to The Last Door by a former friend, and my father, who I had a very poor relationship at the time. It took them two long years to get me there. When I walked in the doors I was broken. Everyone who I had never met before received me with love. They told me they would love me until I was able to love myself. It never seemed possible to me. I stayed in primary care for 6 months and was introduced to the blessings of Narcotics Anonymous. I worked the 12 steps with 55 other men and amazingly I was forced to grow up. My life changed as a result of The Last Door and NA. I had never felt unity or friendship like I had in The Door. Then another surprise came from it all. A relationship with my father.
My father Charlie had gone to The Door in 2011 and it helped save his life after he decided it was time to change. I’ve had some of the most memorable moments of our relationship together in the group rooms at the house.
Today my life is something I had given up on hoping for. I have a career in the electrical trade, I am a sponsor, a role model out of respect, not fear, and I am a man. I spend most of my time passing on what I’ve learned from my mentors at The Door through sponsorship or workshops. I spend a lot of time with the friends I made there and together we do lots of service in NA. Simply said, life is good today. I don’t struggle day to day with fear that I might feel sad, scared or vulnerable. I know my purpose in life and the program and I’ve gotten more than I ever could have imagined. A life I value, a life worth living.
Dylan R. Clean Date March 1st 2013, 1,308 days and counting.