Alumni of the Month Tyler F

Well my addiction started at age 14 when it was my first time drinking and I gave myself alcohol poisoning and blacked out. From there it only progressed and I started using any drug that was available. I continuously used till I blacked out every time and was waking up in the drunk tank and usually with a pocket of charges for assaults, impaired driving etc.

At my 18th b-day I was introduced to Cocaine and I found that it would sober me up and I wouldn’t become that violent guy anymore and gave me the greatest feeling so I thought.  By the time I was 20 I had hooked up with my wife now and had hid my drug problem from her disappearing for days on end and finding every excuse that I could come up with where I was, what I was doing, who I was with. I usually blamed it all on drinking and said I just got drunk and passed out. At 21 we had our first child and had a second by the time I was 24.

Now I still carried my addiction repeating the same crap over and over plus trying to hold down a job, I somehow managed; but my life revolved around tracing my steps from the night before phoning friends and getting my stories straight to tell my wife why I never made it home, meanwhile trying to work on no sleep and a thousand things going through my mind and trying to cover my lies after lies. My life was completely unmanageable missing kids birthdays even showing late Christmas morning with no sleep with my kids waiting patiently wondering where I was.

I remember several times pleading with my wife not to kick me out just give me one more chance I would promise I would never do it again. Sure enough one night later I was in the same boat. The first few years of using drugs seemed ok but the last 8yrs were always the same – I ended up by myself up for days and towards the end I remember I wanted to quit so bad and couldn’t and I would just sit there by myself and get high and think about my kids knowing they would be staring out the window wondering when dad was coming home. I hated my life so bad and yet thought if I told anybody how bad my using was I would be all alone mostly thinking Sara would leave me with my kids and yet thinking every time I used I could not stop.

My life was completely unmanageable and I was aware of it. Finally I overdosed and ended up in the hospital after I stood up for my best friend 3 days earlier in his wedding party. The doctor phoned Sarah and my dad neither wanted to see me they were so hurt. I woke up later and had five buddies standing over me one of them was taking my tuxedo off me cause he had to return it to the rental store because it was late. They told me my secret was out of the bag and everybody new about it and I could just come clean about everything.

That moment there I just didn’t seem to care anymore as I felt the biggest relief ever all the lies and stories and phone calls could stop I’ll never forget that moment! Luckily one of my best friends had gone to the Last Door and he made a call and I went straight from the hospital in Alberta to New Westminster to get a new life.

Tyler F